For the Love Of A Twin
by justdi
Summary: A Young Woman's grief causes problems for the Soul Society.  Can Renji protect her until they can heal her broken soul?  Renji/OC.  Smut,lemons in later chapters.  Please R/R.  My first FF ever.  Don't own bleach.
1. Chapter 1

**For The Love of a Twin**

**Chapter 1- A Broken Reiatsu**

Renji was dozing in the chair at Urahara's shop after a quiet evening celebrating Kon's birthday. They needed some reason to get together, really. His birthday was just an excuse. The old gang spent the evening talking about the old times which seemed so long ago but wasn't really. The teens were preparing to go off to college in the fall and he would head back to the Soul Society, so in a way, this was to be one of a series of final parties.

He worked hard today to prepare the shop for the busy Monday crowd and he was tired. His gigai always seemed to be tired, even when he drank that foul coffee stuff. Deciding that sleep on the futon was a much better idea, he stumbled in the darkness to the futon. It was cold and the warm blanket felt good on his skin. He shivered. Why he was still in his gigai, he didn't know, but he was too tired to make a change.

His eyes were fluttering closed but he was still thinking. _Rukia, I miss you._ Even though he knew there wasn't much of a chance they'd ever be together. He started to doze off again.

And then his eyes flickered open. At the same time he heard a noise coming from the back of the shop and leaving his gigai behind, he felt instantly awake. Urahara came running through the door, looking disheveled.

"What is that reiatsu?" They both asked at the same time. "It's in torment."

"My denrei shinki isn't going off." Renji said, looking at his device.

"It's not a Hollow. I'm sure of it," stated Urahara while rubbing his chin. They both looked puzzled, it could be anything. "Your off-duty…..let the local patrol handle it."

"Eh, I could use the exercise. I'm wide awake now. I'll go check it out in case they need help." He said, while adjusting his zanpakuto.

"Have fun," joked Urahara and went back into the shop.

It didn't take long for him to find the source of the broken reiatsu but it puzzled him. He felt like a peeping tom as he spied at the young woman who was sleeping soundly on a futon in a very small apartment on the other side of town. Her reiatsu flared off of her in blue and yellow waves. _Why was her reiatsu flaring like that? _He thought. _Was she human? And if she wasn't, could she sense him?_

The local patrol hadn't shown up yet but he knew there were a few Hollows in the area and they probably hadn't had time to check it out. It had been a busy night for Hollows. Now he knew why.

He saw her eyes flutter in her sleep and then open. By instinct, he ducked but surmised he remained unnoticed. She sat quickly up and turned on the light. She was shaking, her brow furrowed and she put her head in her hands. Her reiatsu flared, this time an angry red color. Renji felt like he was hit with a fist in his stomach. His levitation wavered and he tried to stabilize himself when he heard her phone ring. She reached for it.

"Hello," she said in English. "Mom? It's so late. What's going on?" Renji didn't know English very well, but he caught a few words. She rubbed her eyes.

She shook harder. "No, I just talked to her. She had bought her plane ticket." She said, her voice shaking. "That can't be true." She sobbed. "No!" She yelled and threw the phone across the room. It shattered. He reiatsu turned the color of fire.

She bolted. In her pajamas and bare feet she ran outside the apartment and down the street, tears trailing after her. Renji followed her. Her reiatsu screamed as it sent out wave after wave of energy. She came to the riverbank and sank down on her heels, sobbing uncontrollably. Renji hated to see her crying, he wanted to do something, but in his soul form, there was nothing he could do. And her reiatsu seemed broken, searching for something. What had happened to make her cry like that? Someone close to her had died, he was sure of it. He landed next to her and contemplated what to do. He wanted to contact Urahara but he didn't want to leave her alone. Her reiatsu was sure to attract Hollows.

She was cold and her body shook in the winter air, her sobbing breaking the stillness of the night. Renji's denrei shinki gave a sudden beep and she choked back her sobs and turned to look at him, noticing him for the first time. Renji startled when he looked into her tear filled eyes. She could see him. _Dummy, _he thought to himself, _her reiatsu was active, of course she could see you._

She squinted at the form. "Am I making too much noise?" She asked in Japanese, her eyes filled with tears. He finally got a good look at her face. He recognized her; the pretty English tutor the kids at the High School talked about. He could see why they talked about her. She was cute. Even with her face smeared with tears, she was still cute. She was a haafu….half-American or half-British or something, he couldn't remember, but he remembered her name. Motomi Sasaki. Luckily, he didn't last long enough there to need a tutor so she probably wouldn't recognize him.

"Uhhhh," he said, suddenly not knowing what to say. Her reiatsu was starting to give him a headache.

"I could use a tissue, please." Luckily, he had one and handed it her. Their hands brushed lightly and Renji felt their energy comingle for a second, and then her reiatsu backed off. He wasn't the one it was searching for. She didn't seem to notice.

She dabbed her eyes lightly and looked up at him. "Thank you," She said, trying not to sob again. "I will just go….." She rose.

She stopped and with her eyes clearer she noticed his sword and his attire. She froze. It was two in the morning, she was out in her pajamas and this man was standing there with a sword and wearing a shihakusho. He saw the look of panic in her eye.

She bolted again. "Wait," he called after her. "Wait, I'm not going to hurt you." He tried to flash step to catch up with her but his head was pounding. And she seemed to be fast. Her reiatsu flared bright red again as she turned around the corner. He ran after her.

"Please," he called. He was catching up with her. She had stepped on glass and was trailing blood everywhere. But she still ran. She tripped and fell, stopping where she fell. She rose up on her knees and bowed her head, resigned to her fate.

"If you're intending on killing me, please do it quick so I can be with my twin sister." She asked, shaking. She had heard the story of gangs going around killing haafus. It was an urban myth but it had always terrified her that it could be true.

"Wha… I'm not going to kill you." He said, kneeling down to look at her cut. "Your twin? You lost your twin?" It made sense now. Twins sometimes shared a soul. It didn't happen often, but it happened. _If one had died_ . . . he put the thought aside.

"Are you late for a cosplay convention?" She managed to ask, wiping tears with the back of her hand.

He didn't know what the hell she was talking about. But he didn't have time to clarify. A Hollow sounded nearby just as his denrei shinki beeped.

"Shit," he muttered. "Stay here and don't move." The Hollow was close by, attracted like a shark to blood by her flaring reiatsu.

"What the fuck?" He heard her say in English, her eyes growing wider. If he could see him, she could see the Hollow.

He used his zanjutsu quickly to take the hollow out, who was inching towards Motomi. She didn't scream, didn't move, just sat frozen. He put his zanpakuto away just as a few members of the local patrol came running up.

"You're late." He stated flatly.

"Sorry Fukutaicho Abarai," they answered breathlessly while bowing. "But there were two Hollows a few blocks away."

_Probably around Motomi's apartment, _he thought. He leaned down and looked into Motomi's eyes. She looked away, afraid. Her reiatsu was now a deep purple and sending out spike like flares.

"Who is this," asked one patrol member. "She has reiatsu coming off her. Is she a Soul Reaper?"

"Yeah dumb question, dumb ass," Renji quipped, forgetting he was in the presence of a lady.

She found her voice. "What the hell was that thing? What are you guys playing at, ninjas? How did that thing disappear?" Her words trailed together almost in one sentence.

She was shaking in the cool air. During his fighting, he had forgotten it was so cold. Her wound wasn't bad, but would need to be cleaned and the night was ripe for more Hollows.

"Please, come with me miss, its cold" He reached down a hand. "Can you walk?"

"I…..want to go home." She stated flatly, ignoring the hand.

"I can't take you home, more of those things will appear and your life is in danger." He stated gently.

It was then he saw her eyes flutter. She was close to passing out from the cold, the running, the fear, her overwhelming grief. Her resolve gave in at last; her reiatsu calming to what was looking more like burning embers rather than a fire. She started to double over.

Grunting, Renji caught her. Gathering her up he flash stepped back to Urahara's shop.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Nighttime Ministrations

Detecting the unusual reiatsu coming towards the shop, Urahara was waiting for them. They sensed urgency as Motomi's body temperature was really low. She had stopped shivering, a bad sign. They got her into a warm bed and piled covers over her. She wasn't warming up fast enough.

"I have a kido that will warm her up." Urahara said. Renji was glad of that. The only other way was to have him strip down and give her his body heat. He really didn't want to alarm her by climbing into bed with her. Urahara went to work, the spell making the room brighten and warm up quickly.

Pink started to rise in her cheeks and she stirred a little. Renji breathed a little easier. "She's the English tutor at the school. Motomi Sasaki is her name." He said. Urahara nodded.

"She will be ok for now." He turned to Renji. "What happened?"

"All I could get out of her is that she's a twin, and her twin died." He stated, while looking at the sleeping Motomi. "Oh, and her foot needs tending to, she cut it on some glass."

Urahara rubbed his chin. "A twin. . .interesting….I think that explains it. I'll clean up her foot. You look like hell Renji. Get some rest. We'll deal with the reiatsu problem in the morning. I'll put up some spells on the shop to shield her reiatsu from any hollows. It's a temporary fix, but it should buy us some time." He went to get a med kit.

Renji slumped down on the chair. He did look like hell. He had blood on his shihakusho from her cut foot and his hair was in his eyes. His sense of duty to this frightened girl kept him from leaving the room though, but he sat down, his head in his hands as he rubbed his face to keep himself awake. Her words echoed in his mind, _Please kill me so I can be with my twin sister, _he thought as he looked up at the ceiling. He had never a bond like that with anyone, ever. His brow relaxed and soon he was asleep.

He dreamed he was bathing in a warm stream full of light. There was no water, just light all around him. He marveled at the light, wanted to hold it in his hands, but the light couldn't be held, couldn't be contained in his palm. It just flowed. Where was it going? He tried to follow it but the horizon seemed so far off.

He awoke suddenly. The darkness blinded him. He checked to see if Motomi was still asleep, tried to hear her breathing. Instead, he heard silence. _Where was she? Did she get up and he not notice? Was he that out?_

Urahara came rushing in, putting on his haori. "Our little bird has flown the coop. She'll be Hollow food for sure." He gave Renji a little frown, he didn't have to say anything, he had blown it.

Renji and Urahara rushed out, flash stepping, following the unusual reiatsu's path. It was like a glow worm in the night – leaving a trail of heat for them to follow. They didn't have to go far. Her sore foot made running impossible. She stopped when they reached her.

"I need to go home," she said sadly. "I need to call my mother. Thank you for you hospitality" She bowed and looked from one face to the other. _Who were these strange people?_

"We can't let you." Renji said, coldly. He had had enough of running around in the night after this girl.

His cold words made her start to shiver again, the cold seeping into her skin. Renji took a step towards her. He wanted to warm her up.

She shrank back, his angry command still stung. "I don't understand. I'm dreaming. This is a crazy dream. Or I'm dead. That's it; I ran out of the apartment and was hit by a car." She started shaking harder, her words running together. And then the tears started again. "It hurts to cry," she sobbed, "but I can't seem to do anything else. Why are you following me?" She screamed and her reiatsu flared wildly, knocking the wind out of both men.

Just then a patrol car drove around the corner. Her yelling was attracting attention. "Sasaki-San," Urahara stated, lowering his voice, "You are the only ones that can see us. To everyone else, you are talking to yourself." He paused. "We are shinigami."

"This is crazy, I'm going home." She started to walk. The patrol car sped away, just as she walked around the corner. Renji breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing they needed was for her to get thrown in jail for disturbing the peace.

Renji's tracker went off just before he heard a screech. Hollows, and more than one. Local patrol leader Zennosuke Kurumadani came flying up behind them followed by two Hollows.

"Run," he yelled. "They are crazy about something." He huffed. He hadn't notice the girl.

"Waaaaa?" Renji had never run away from a Hollow, ever. But these two were insane with their need to feed. Motomi's reiatsu was causing a lot of problems.

Urahara went into action. "I can shield her and then we can regroup. We aren't going to get anywhere if we have to face Hollows all night." He went to work.

Renji pulled Motomi into an alley way and she slumped down, her energy giving out. She grabbed her knees. Renji kneeled down in front of her and put his hand against the brick wall in a protective way, while he watched Kurumadani finally extinguish the hollows. She squirmed a little, smelling the sweat on him and realizing his closeness. "Please, let me go." She begged. He ignored her.

Before they could breathe, their trackers went off again. Kurumadani started yelling. "What is going on!" He said, while panting. Then he noticed the girl. "She has reiatsu coming off of her."

Urahara looked at the young woman. "I'm trying to shield her, but it's difficult, it keeps breaking through." He had a bead of sweat on his brow from the effort. Finally, he stopped. "Well, that should hold it for a while. Miss you need to calm down and breathe deep, if you can."

Renji still had a protective arm over her, hoping to keep her from bolting, which she seemed to like doing. She shifted slightly under him, and he turned to her. He gave her a scowl and she stopped moving. She tried to breath deep, but when she did, her chest hurt.

"Miss," Urahara began, "Please listen….you're a special twin. Sometimes, when twins are born, they share a soul. This doesn't happen often, but in your case, it did. And now, I understand your twin sister has passed on and your soul is looking for its other half. You're sending out waves of energy and the Hollows are coming because they like that energy. They will try to feast on that energy." He looked into her eyes. "I know you had a special kinship with your sister. You probably could communicate without speaking." He paused. "She's your other half."

Kurumadani looked on in surprise. "Well," he said, trying to catch his breath, "why you all figure it out two shinigami got injured tonight. One may not make it."

Her eyes widened. _Because of me? _She thought.

"Please, this is dangerous, you're actions are putting us all in danger." Renji said. Her brow furrowed.

"Please come with us. I don't want to have to force you." Renji said. "But I will if I have to. You are putting a lot of shinigami in danger. Please trust us." He was getting a little irritated, but he did realize this was a crazy story. He stood and held out his hand.

She took it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three – The Taskmasters

As she hobbled back, Renji tried to pick up Motomi so they would make better time, but she wouldn't have it. Even with her reiatsu shielded, he could feel her polite but rising frustration with his constant pleas of "_we must hurry._" He didn't ask again. He took the opportunity on the way to introduce himself and Urahara. But other than that, the walk was in silence except for his Hollow tracker going off every few minutes and the sound of her sniffling. Again, she didn't have a tissue.

Once back at the shop, Motomi sat down on the futon and closed her eyes. _I won't run anymore, she sighed. I can't. I'm just dreaming and I need to wake up, that's all._ She thought, her ears catching the sound of two deep bass voices coming from the kitchen. They were whispering as to not disturb her. Her eyes fluttered like butterflies in the wind as she fell asleep.

Dawn came quickly. Hollows had been wandering around all night looking for the reiatsu which was now shielded by the shop. Urahara poured the tea which would taste good on a cold morning. They were silent for a while, each in their thoughts while they sipped slowly. It hadn't rained, but frost appeared on the windows, making patterns on the glass.

Urahara spoke softly, "Obviously, a memory replacement will have to be done. The only problem is how far we have to go back. The only way to calm down her reiatsu is to make her think she never had a twin at all." He rubbed his chin in thought. _Not the best idea I've ever had._

Renji lowered his voice. "We have to do something; we can't go around chasing Hollows forever. In just this one night the patrol killed three dozen Hollows! " He slammed down his tea. His denreishinki beeped again. "Hollow?" Luckily, it was the Soul Society. He read the message quickly.

"It seems our little problem has been brought to the attention of the Central 46," he read. "Her twin's reiatsu in the Rukongai is going crazy and attracting Hollows. Even some of their spells aren't working. They've tried to perform memory replacement to no avail. They are now looking into their archives to figure how they have dealt with this problem before." He took a breath. "I've been charged with Motomi's protection until they figure this problem out." He was the senior Shinigami in the area, so it made sense.

Urahara sighed. "Well, that answers that question, a memory replacement won't work. Their bond is certainly strong." Suddenly, they felt a now familiar reiatsu flair suddenly. "Well, guess who is awake." They got up and went in the other room.

Motomi was looking up at the ceiling, with her hands clasped behind her head. She turned to look at them. "I need some things from my apartment. I can't go around dressed in Hello Kitty pajamas." She sighed. "And I need to call my mother, she continued. They must be planning Mitsuko's funeral and I…need to say goodbye."

Renji didn't think of that. "Does your mother live close?" He asked.

"In the United States, in Hawaii," she stated simply. "So it's not too long of a flight. Can you, like, please make a spell to shield me so I can go?" She asked Urahara. Renji slumped. _He would have to go on that flying contraption. _

"It's temporary, but yes." Urahara sat down next to her on the bed. "Sasaki-san," he said, brushing the hair out of her eyes, "your sister had a konso performed on her and is in the Soul Society. Her reiatsu is trying to find you and is causing all sorts of problems. The Soul Society is trying to find a solution, but it will take some time. In the meantime, Renji will be your bodyguard."

She looked up, her eyes wide. The easiest solution was for her to join her sister. She shook her head of the thought. _It would kill my mother. _

She had a headache. She rubbed her temples lightly, trying to get this in her mind. She had woken in the strange place with these strange men and had hoped that the nightmare was over. That he sister was alive and this was just some crazy hallucination.

She rose up and looked out the window at the cold morning. Her thoughts were on her sister's last moments. _It had been her fault that she was dead. If she hadn't asked her to breakup with her boyfriend and come to Japan to live with her she would be alive._ He hadn't taken the breakup well, and in his anger, he had killed her.

The two men were silent. They were getting the hang of her blazing reiatsu. Knowing when to stay quiet or speak. It was purple now, and with the faraway look in Motomi's eyes, they knew she was deep in thought.

Renji took a deep breath, breaking the silence. "After some breakfast I will take you to your apartment." He stated flatly. "You need some shoes too."

She looked at him. "Do you have to guard me all the time?" She asked, hoping the answer was no.

"That is my job," he said as he went to go get some breakfast.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Dark Energy

His hollow tracker was quiet for once thanks to Urahara's reiatsu blocking kido, allowing Renji to relax a bit. She didn't speak on the way there. There was really nothing to say. _At least she's not sniffling._ She didn't look at the faces of people staring at her as she walked by them. She had one a pair of Urahara's too large slippers and was in her pajamas. Shoppers seemed to walk right through her "bodyguard," which she found oddly amusing. He didn't seem to notice them; his eyes were scanning for Hollows. Luckily, none appeared.

The apartment was just as she left it, in spite of leaving the door wide open. It was small, with one bigger sized futon that was enough for two people shoved in the corner. It had a small kitchen, and a tiny closet. She was lucky enough to have a shower though.

Motomi went to pick up the cell phone she had thrown. "It's broken." She said, looking at the pieces.

He took the pieces from her. "Yeah, Sasaki-san, it's broken. You can use mine." He handed her his cell phone. He had one when he was in the living world. It made getting a hold of Ichigo or Inoue easier.

"Ummmmm. . .how am I going to explain you?" She asked, taking the phone.

He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, uh, didn't think of that." He chewed his bottom lip while thinking. "I'm your boyfriend." He said suddenly.

She practically recoiled. She opened her mouth for a retort and then closed it. _Even if he does have the body of a god, _she said to herself, _he would be the last man on earth I would want to be with. _

His eyebrow lifted when he saw her reaction. "Well do you have a better idea?" He asked, oddly startled and judging by the look on her face, she didn't like the idea at all.

"I guess that will work." She said finally.

_You guess? _ He said to himself. _You guess? _He was strangely amused, and kind of offended.

She dialed a bunch of numbers. Renji looked out the window. He was hoping that no Hollows showed up while she was on the phone as the space was confining. He didn't like the feeling of not being able to move. The sooner they were out of here the better. He heard her muffled voice in English. She was talking to her mother, trying to hold back tears. Her reiatsu was shielded but he knew it wouldn't last long, especially if she got upset. He looked at the pictures on the wall of her family. The twins stared back at him. _Which one was Motomi? _He wondered.

He heard her say "I'll see you tomorrow Mom, thanks for sending plane tickets" And then she finished the call.

"Done?" He asked, reaching for the phone. She nodded.

"There wasn't much to say." She said. "She's sending us plane tickets. Thank you for the phone." She went to the closet to begin packing. He watched her go. She was trying to be brave, trying to keep her shield from disintegrating. She struggled to get a suitcase down from the closet shelf.

"Here, let me." He easily pulled it down. She looked at him while he got the case, tracing the tattoos with her eyes. The seemed alive, dancing as his muscles flexed.

She averted her gaze and took the suitcase. "I cleared out half the closet for her." She said, looking at the partially empty closet. He nodded, not knowing what to say. She reached into the empty space, half hoping that her sister would pop out and yell surprise! She grabbed some clothes and went to stuff them into her suitcase.

She looked at him, "Abarai-san?" His eyebrow went up. "Can I take a shower?" She asked. Motomi felt horrible, she needed a shower. "I will be quick."

He nodded and sat on the floor; the only other available seating place being her bed. And he wasn't going to sit there. He sat cross legged and placed his zanpakuto on his lap. He would be ready if something showed up. His muscles quivered with tension.

He heard her humming in the shower and could barely feel her reiatsu due to the shield. His head wasn't pounding as bad as when she was flaring. He could be thankful for that. His mind thought about tomorrow's flight. _A plane, what a contraption. Crazy humans and their flying machines and their fast cars. _He pinched his nose and sighed. _He was going to have a permanent headache from her reiatsu. _He groaned._ He would ask Urahara for a solution, maybe he had one. _

She was true to her word and came out of the shower quickly. She had on a red knit jersey and long black pants. It looked so much better than her Hello Kitty pajamas, whatever Hello Kitty was.

She grabbed the photo off the wall and shoved it in her bag. She wasn't taking much. There was really not much to take. Pulling on her long black boots she and Renji left the apartment.

He anticipated a long silent walk back, but Motomi broke the silence. "My sister was killed because of me."

He looked at her and scowled. "It's not your fault." Her shield didn't last one hour, it was already starting to disintegrate.

"Yes it is, she was coming to live with me and her boyfriend…..k..illed her." Her voice started to quiver. Renji picked up the pace. Her reiatsu blazed, an ugly black, a color he hadn't seen before, no, not a color – the absence of color. The color of hate.

He looked down at her. "We have to hurry, your shield is failing. I can't carry you using flashstep, we will be seen by humans." She quickened her pace. "Can you try and calm your reiatsu?" He hoped, asking the impossible of the girl. "It's giving me a headache."

"Sorry." She said, averting her gaze. She knew she was giving everyone trouble, but Renji seemed particularly irritated by his assignment.

He saw her pout. "I'm sorry Sasaki-san. I know you can't help it." But his words were drowned out by a Hollow's screech.

"Dammit!" He yelled, putting her down. "Stay behind me." He unsheathed his zanpakuto and went toward the hollow dead on.

Motomi tried to calm her reiatsu, but didn't know what she was trying to do. _Meditate? Focus on breathing? Make her mind go somewhere else? _She watched him fight from her little hidey hole she found between a post and a mailbox, trying to take slow deep breaths. But the noise from the Hollows screeches made her shake. Renji was fighting hard. She saw him take a hit; the impact of it slid him back to where she was hiding. She hated this. She heard him mutter curse words under his breath as blood dripped from his wound. _He was hurt!_ She felt her anger rising. _These stupid Hollows! And her stupid life! _Her fists clenched as she listened to the sharp sounds of Renji's sword meeting resistance. Without realizing she stood up and faced the Hollow.

"Just take me already!" She yelled at the top of her voice, while waving her hands. Her reiatsu pulsed away from her, like a heartbeat. The Hollow turned to her. "Just do it now, get it over with!" She yelled, her voice echoing of apartment walls. "Come get me, I'm tasty!" She yelled again.

Renji turned, a bead of sweat dropped from his brow as it furrowed. "Sa-ssaki-san" He said, breathing heavy. Each word she uttered sent out a spike of energy and his head exploded. He bent over, trying to catch his breath.

The Hollow ran for her, screeching madly. Her reiatsu flared again, sending out sharp spikes towards the Hollow. Renji leapt for it but missed as it sped towards Motomi. The energy spikes engulfed the Hollow, and it stumbled, shattering a bus stop to dust. Her reiatsu flashed again, and hit the Hollow in the chest, crushing it into pieces. It was gone.

Renji stood for a moment, breathing heavy. _A human taking out a hollow? On its own? What was this? _He asked himself.

Motomi crumpled, her energy spent. They need to get out of here and fast. Humans were starting to come to check out the noise.

Renji grabbed her and flash stepped towards the shop, hoping they wouldn't be seen if they moved fast. It was only a few minutes when they made it back to Urahara's place and he met them out front. He had noticed her odd colored reiatsu right away. "Trouble?" He asked, looking at Motomi.

"I…" She started to say something.

Renji interrupted, "She took out a Hollow with her reiatsu." He said, confused. He stormed off, his head in his hands. His head was pounding again. Urahara's brow furrowed.

"I don't know what I did," She whispered. "I need to be able to control, whatever I did. Renji can't fight if my reiatsu bothers him so much. He's injured," her concern rose along with her voice.

She stood and bowed, "Please teach me Urahara-san."

He smiled. "I will do whatever I can." He said, as he went to check on Renji.

XXXX

Training started that afternoon. The basement training grounds served to shield their drills from the rest of the world. She would be safe here, for the moment. She tried to concentrate on training rather than the odd world she found herself in, but it was difficult. _I still can't believe this is real._ She thought.

He taught her to focus her energy on one spot on the wall, letting her mind block everything out. It would take her years to complete the training, but at least he could help her get some control in the meantime, until the Soul Society had a solution.

"I have something for you that will help, Sasaki-san." He said. It's normally worn by Shinigami but you can wear it until we figure this out. It's my own invention." He said, rather proudly. "It's a Reiatsu Concealing Cloak."

He put the cloak around her. It felt oddly warm, like a sweater, but it was light. It had pretty pink flowers all over it. "This will shield me?" She asked, touching the fabric. _How could a piece of fabric do this?_

"It may help. That with the techniques you are learning you can prevent further hollow attacks." He explained. "I had to modify it for a human, so I can't vouch for how effective it will be, but it's better than nothing." He said, while fixing the collar.

"Abarai-san," she asked, "is he ok? Will this help his headaches?"

He shook his head, "I think his pride was hurt more than his body and I don't know why he is having headaches when he is around you. I think his reiatsu and yours, uh….." he searched for the right word, "clashes."

"Yeah, I get that concept. I don't think he likes me much. I'm sure he'd rather be doing something else than guarding me." She said, frowning a little.

"To borrow a human phrase, methinks he doth protest too much." He said, as they climbed the ladder out of the basement. Motomi laughed.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-Renji's Flight

Renji heard Motomi laugh for the first time since he met her. He smiled at the sound, like she would be happy again, someday. Urahara always made people laugh, he had that gift. To top it off,Motomi's reiatsu was at such a low level that he could barely feel it. He pushed himself up and inspected his wound. Urahara had bandaged it and the wound would heal quickly. He got lucky.

"Abarai-san," Motomi called. "How are you feeling?" She was smiling as she cocked her head. He didn't think he had ever seen her smile. It was a cute smile.

He couldn't help but smile back. "The headache is gone and the wound isn't bad. I see you have the reiatsu cloak Urahara designed on. It's helping." He sat up, his muscles aching. He seemed to be in a better mood. The bandages on his arm made her feel guilty.

Motomi liked this better mood of his. He wasn't scowling at her for once. "Have you heard anything from the soul society? Do they have a solution yet?" She asked.

He shook his head. Motomi's eyes clouded for a moment. He noticed a bead of sweat on her brow; she was trying hard to put into practice the techniques Urahara had taught her. He commended her for trying. _But that energy, the way she took out that Hollow was amazing. _He thought.

"Oh." She said. "We have to be at the airport tomorrow at 5 a.m., and you're going to need to bring a suit."

_A suit? A suit of what? _ He wondered. "Uh….what kind of suit." He asked.

"You know, with a tie and pants and a jacket. Like a business suit." She replied, stating what she thought was the obvious, "for the funeral."

He looked at Urahara. "Uh, do you have a suit?" He asked, hopeful.

Urahara sighed and smirked. This was going to be funny. "I have something you can borrow, I'm sure. It may not fit right but we can make it work." He was trying to hold back a chuckle.

"I'm going to get some sleep. Have a good night, Abarai-san. Good night Sensei." She bowed, and went to the other room.

Urahara rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "What happened with the Hollow," he asked, while checking on the wounds on his arm. "That will heal nicely."

"Her reiatsu turned black. Completely black, like midnight black." He stopped, picturing the incident in his head. "Spike like energy came out of her whole body and the Hollow disintegrated." If I hadn't been there, I would have never believed a human could do that, even Ichigo." Renji's eyes darkened.

"Her bond with her sister has created some awesome power." Urahara surmised. "Let's go get you packed."

XXX

Dawn came quickly. They left for the airport in enough time to go through security and get on the plane. Renji was nervous for the first time in his life. He felt his stomach churning at the thought of going onto that contraption.

The plane was moving into position. Motomi turned to say something, but her words were drowned out by the engines. Ascended the staircase, Renji's feet could feel the vibrations of the engines through his sneakers. He wished his stomach would quit flip-flopping.

They settled into their seats and he was grateful it wouldn't be a long flight, seven hours was long enough. A steward came by and asked them to buckle their seatbelts. He had the sudden urge to run but he couldn't, he had to stay with Motomi. She was buckling her seatbelt and stowing some of her things under the seat. She didn't seem the least bit nervous or worried about the flight. How he wished he could just flash-step to Hawaii. He could do that, right?

The plane started to taxi away and his stomach lurched again. Motomi turned to him. "Are you ok?" She asked concern in her voice.

"Uh, I've never been on a plane before." He whispered. "It's so stuffy in here," He said, adjusting his collar. She turned on the air for him. That felt better.

"Do you want me to hold your hand?" She took it without him answering, his hand was sweaty. She looked at him with concern. "It's ok Abarai-san, once the plane is in the air it gets better." She reassured him, holding his hand tight.

He liked the feeling of her hand. Now that her reiatsu was a little more under control, her touch didn't feel as odd. He took a deep breath when the plane gave a sudden lurch and was in the air. He closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, they were in the air and he was looking over Tokyo Bay. Everyone was so small, even the largest buildings were fading away. The ocean was a bright blue, mimicking the sky. He noticed she was still holding his hand. "Ugh, you can let go, I'm ok now." He said.

"See it's easier once you're in the air," she said, releasing his hand. You should get some rest. I will wake you when the stewards serve breakfast. "

He lowered his voice. "Wake me if there is trouble." She nodded.

He shut his eyes. The plane's movements lulled him to sleep. He was having that dream again. He was bathing in light. The light felt warm but not hot. And it kept drifting, like a river. He could see where the river was leading him to now, the Senkaimon. He startled awake.

"Abarai-san," Motomi was touching his arm, shaking him awake. "Do you want something to eat?"

He tried to shake the odd dream out of his head. "Ugh, yeah, thanks." He said, taking the bowl of rice and tamagoyaki. He didn't really need to eat, but it was something to pass the time. He sipped his tea slowly, trying to figure out his dream's meaning.

"Abarai-san," Motomi said, taking a bite of rice, "Thank you for coming with me. I know this is not an easy assignment."

"You need to call me Renji, we are boyfriend and girlfriend." He stated winking, before continuing. She blushed slightly. "And I…." _ enjoy this assignment? _He didn't know what to say. He didn't have time to reply when the plane gave a sudden lurch and his tea spilled in his lap. "Ouch" He yelled. All the passengers turned to look at him. A steward came with a towel to help clean up.

A beep sounded and a voice came over the air. "This is your captain speaking, and we are hitting some turbulence, please fasten your seatbelts."

"Yeah, thanks for the warning, dumb ass." He grumbled, while he tried to dry his pants. Motomi started laughing. He looked at her, half scowling, half smirking. "Well I'm glad my pain made you laugh."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – River of Light

They both slept the rest of the flight, making for a fast flight. It was dark when they landed and Renji couldn't see the island at all. He had heard it was beautiful. The flight had been without incident and Renji was glad of that. He wasn't sure if Hollows could attack while they were on a plane, but he really didn't want to find out. Grabbing their bags, they went through customs quickly. Motomi was looking for her mother.

"Mom," she yelled, waving. She ran up to her and hugged her tight. She waved at Renji to come over. "Mom this is Abar-ugh, Renji, my boyfriend." She said, smiling. The mom had long blond hair and blue eyes, and looked nothing like Motomi, who must have inherited her father's looks. "Renji this is my mother, Mrs. Sasaki." She said in Japanese. Renji bowed. The mom was giving him the once over. He got the feeling she didn't like him.

She gave him a quick hug, surprising Renji. "Welcome to the United States, thanks for coming with Motomi." Motomi translated quickly. He smiled and bowed again.

"Well at least he is polite." She told Motomi. Motomi rolled her eyes, and linked her arm in her mothers. Renji fell in behind them, dragging the suitcases. When they got through the double doors Renji took a deep breath. Everything smelled like flowers. He was sad it was so dark; he wanted to see this Hawaii. He breathed in the scent again. Unlike Japan in the winter, it was warm. Even at night, people were wearing shorts and made him feel overdressed in jeans and a sweater. He peeled off his sweater as he struggled to keep up with the women, who had their heads together, talking. He noticed that Motomi was starting to shake, then take a deep breath and calm down.

Motomi ran back to him. "We are going to the house and have some dinner. Are you hungry?" She asked.

"I can always eat. Are you ok?" He asked concern in his voice.

"Yeah, seeing my mom so hurt is hard. After my dad died, Mitsuko was her world." She paused. "And I guess mine too. She was the light in our family. That's why she was named Mitsuko."

_Light. The river of light. _He took a quick intake of breath, and scratched the back of his head. _Did it have to do something with __Mitsuko__? _He didn't dream often, but when he did, it usually had some meaning. He pondered this while they drove to the house, the ladies were talking quickly in English, but he didn't mind. _Was he sending her a message? _He thought.

Arriving at the house, he could smell the ocean now and hear the surf pounding in the distance. He could have worse assignments than this one. He could be training recruits under the watchful eye of his captain or doing paperwork. Just then his denreishrinki beeped. Motomi looked at him. "Hollow?" She mouthed. He shook his head no. It was the Central 46 with a message.

He read quickly. _No solution yet, still researching. Hollows increasing, causing much damage. Will keep informed. _He clicked it off. She was still looking at him, waiting for an answer. He shook his head no. Her eyes darkened again. He came out of his thoughts when Motomi's mother served him an odd looking dish. It had rice that much he could figure out, some kind of funny mushy stuff and what looked like some odd flat meat. He looked at Motomi. "What is this?" He asked.

"It's a plate lunch," she answered. "Two scoop rice, macaroni and spam. It's good." She said, taking a bite of her rice. He took a small bite. _It was an odd taste, rather salty. _He didn't really get hungry ever anyway, so it didn't matter.

"My mom didn't have time today to make anything else; she had to plan the funeral. Here, have some POG." She said, pouring juice in his cup.

He smelled it and took a quick sip. It was fruity and tasted good on his dry throat. He nodded and held his cup out for more. She poured again smiling. "I knew you would like that. It's great with rum in it."

Renji smiled, he liked rum. Motomi's mother came up to him. "Can you ask, ugh…Renji about his tattoos?" She asked Motomi.

"Moooooommmmm," yelled Motomi. "I'm not going to ask him that. It's rude." Her mom's face was stoic. She didn't care if it was rude.

Renji smiled at their bantering back and forth. They were talking about him, he could tell. He also could tell that Motomi's reiatsu was ramping up. She was getting tired of concentrating on keeping her reiatsu shielded. If she hadn't had the cloak, Hollows would be all over the house.

"ugh Sasak..Motomi-chan," he said a note of authority in his voice, "You need to rest now, you're getting tired."

She looked at him, and nodded quickly. "Mom, I'm getting tired; I'm going to go lay down." Motomi's mother looked at her watch. It was late. Motomi went down the hall and Renji followed.

"I suppose you want to sleep in the same room? You can sleep in the guest room, it has a queen bed." She asked. Motomi's eyes widened. She didn't know what to say. They would have to figure this out.

"Uh, yeah, thanks mom." She said and grabbed Renji's hand and went into the room and shut the door.

"Ummm..." Renji started, "nice room." He said, smiling down at her. Her face was getting red.

"I didn't know what to do; we are supposed to be a couple." She said, swallowing hard. Renji looked around the room. It didn't concern him in the least where he slept.

"I can sleep on the floor. It doesn't matter to me. Besides, I need to have you close by just in case there is trouble." He started to unpack. He took the suit out of the bag and hung it on a rod. He looked at the ugly black suit. When he had tried it on at Urahara's house, it wasn't comfortable at all.

"But…. Ugh..." She really didn't want to have to share the room with him, but decided there was nothing to be done about it. She started to unpack too. "I'm going for a shower." She said, taking her Hello Kitty pajamas and toothbrush with her.

He laid back on the bed, deep in thought. _What other powers other than being able to read each other's thoughts had the twins shared? What did the river of light mean? _He could hear Motomi humming in the shower; her reiatsu was starting to flare a little, as she probably didn't have on the cloak on. He felt it flare again and then grow silent; she was probably using some of Urahara's techniques to calm it. He swallowed hard as he thought of Motomi in the shower. He shook his head of the thought.

He sighed and turned his thoughts back to the issue at hand. _What was the Soul Society doing about the Hollows? _He looked at his denreishrinki and read the message again. _Hollows increasing. _He decided to send a message back. He typed. _Human known as "Motomi Sasaski" has powerful reiatsu. She has removed a Hollow with it. Techniques used to shield her Hollows. Things are quiet for now. Please keep me informed. _He hit send.

Motomi came out of the shower wearing the Hello Kitty Pajamas and the cloak over them. He frowned, he hated those Hello Kitty pajamas for some reason, they were rather baggy. "I'm going to go patrol," he announced, feeling uncomfortable. He left behind his gigai. He went out the window and she sat staring at his lifeless gigai for a moment before turning off the light and going to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – Kuro (Japanese for Black)

Renji didn't need much sleep, and that was a good thing. After patrolling he went back to the room and sat on the floor, while he listened to Motomi's even breathing. He was worried, his brow uneven as he wondered what might happen to Motomi. As a Shinigami he was not allowed to meddle much in the affairs of humans, he just had to set things right. And setting things right this time might mean something bad for her. He settled down against the wall and his head drooped, he wanted to get a few minutes shut eye before Motomi woke up. His eyes drooped.

He didn't know how long he had been asleep, but something made his eyes snap open, something was wrong, Motomi's reiatsu was flaring wildly again. He looked for her in bed and she wasn't there. Putting on his gigai he looked for her and found her in what he assumed was her sister's room.

"I found you." He said, concerned. "Are you ok?"

"Sorry, I….lost it for a second. I thought I could feel her here, just for a second. I wanted to talk to her. Can you help me talk to her? Can you send a message to her through your," she pointed to his denreishinki, "device?"

He shook his head. "I don't think I can do that. It would be against the rules."

"Rules, smools," she said, waving her hand. "Maybe we can find out a solution that doesn't end up with me….." She stopped.

"With you what." He asked.

"Dying," She said finally. "It would kill my mother." She turned to a photograph of her sister. "As for me, I don't think I'd care."

His eyes grew wide. "But I would care." He said, softly.

"Why?" She asked, not looking up from the photograph.

He put his hand through his hair, loosening the tie and letting it fall on his shoulders, "Because I'm supposed to protect you." He said finally.

She looked at him, smiled, and gave him a hug. He breathed in her strawberry scent. "Thank you for caring." She said, and walked out of the room.

XXX

Renji pulled at the collar of the suit he was wearing. It was really uncomfortable as well as a little large and a few inches short. He looked nice, but Motomi could tell he had almost enough of trying new things. He was really out of his comfort zone. Motomi couldn't help but giggle though. He looked like a little boy in his dad's too big suit.

"Oh sure, make fun." He said, his lip pouting. "How can people wear this?" He said, looking at himself in the mirror and trying to adjust his tie.

"Here let me Renji," she went to fix his tie. "I think you look nice, it just isn't your style." She concentrated on tying his tie, not noticing his breathing, which had now become uneven. She had flowers in her hair and was wearing the most beautiful kimono he had ever seen. It was pure black, with little gold flowers weaved into the silk fabric. He noticed her reiatsu cloak sticking out from underneath.

"You look, ugh, very nice too." He said, as she finished tying his tie.

"I do? Thank you, that's nice of you to say." She grabbed her fan and they left.

XXX

The funeral wasn't very long. Her mother was having a hard time holding it together and didn't attend the cremation. It had fallen to Motomi to conduct the ceremony. Renji stood by as he watched Motomi pass the bones of her sister with her chopsticks into an urn. She was sweating, it was hot and she was trying hard not to cry.

He heard her whisper, "I will see you soon, my light." He chewed his thumbnail, a habit he had given up long ago, but he couldn't help it. Her reiatsu was flaring up again, but he heard her even breathing as she tried to calm it down. She was losing the battle.

"Abar….," she called and then fainted. Her relatives swarmed around her and he couldn't get to her. He didn't want to interfere but found himself moving through the crowd commanding attention as he went, parting for him. Reaching her, he gathered her into his arms and took her outside.

"Abarai-san," She said, coming to as he fanned her. "I got hot." He chuckled slightly. Her well-meaning relatives gathered around them with water as he fanned her. "I'm fine, really. Thank you." She said, taking the water.

She stood proudly and bowed to her relatives as they left. They were alone. She held onto the urn tightly, her knuckles during white. They were silent, each alone in their thoughts as they walked down the steps to her family's grave. It was a plain stone moment with red lettering. Motomi traced the letters with her finger. "Hello dad," She said. "Your little light is here." She broke down now, sobbing as she placed her sister's urn into the waiting crevice. Renji just held her as her sobs broke the stillness of the air. He took her into his arms and rocked her while she cried.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8- AKAW! (what you yell when you catch a good wave)

After falling to pieces at the cemetery, Renji took Motomi home and she took a nap. He watched her sleep for a while; she was so cute when she slept. He was biting his thumbnail again, thinking about Motomi's words. "_As for me I wouldn't care."_ He knew that dying wouldn't be the end of her life, just the end of this life. She had a future to look forward to, love, and a family. His eyes darkened at the thought of her missing out on that life.

She sighed in her sleep and turned over, her arm hanging over the side of the bed. He heard her stirring. "Abarai-san?" She called softly. "What time is it?"

"Did you have a nice nap? It's still light out, it's only five, I think." He said, looking at her clock with the red numbers. She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"I'm hungry." She said, stretching. "How is my mother, has she come downstairs?"

He shook his head. "Well, I guess we will go get her something to eat and bring it back. Then we could eat on the beach and watch the sunset," She suggested.

"Please no more plate lunch," he begged and she laughed.

XXX

They brought back some food for her mom and Motomi took it to her. "Well, she's eating, that's good. I didn't want to leave her, but she insisted. She told us to go have fun." She said, worry in her voice.

"People deal with their grief differently, I guess." He surmised, while peering at the food she had bought. It wasn't a plate lunch and it smelled good. It was some kind of raw fish with nuts and onions with some purple vegetable thing he'd never seen before. She had called it Ahi Poke.

"Let's go check out the surf." She said, picking up her food and heading out the door.

They sat down on the beach together, the sand was white. It reminded him of Hueco Mundo sand a little. He'd been to the beach in Japan, but there the water smelled like gasoline. Here, the ocean smelled pure and salty. He inhaled the scent. Motomi stared out at the waves, watching them break.

"Good surf," she said finally, while she picked a piece of fish. "Do you like this better than the plate lunch?" She said, pointing a chopstick at his food.

"This is the best thing I've ever tasted in my life." He answered, stuffing a piece of seaweed in his mouth. "I could eat this every day and never get tired of it." Motomi laughed. He liked the sound of her laughter.

"Why do you say the surf is good?" He asked, looking at the breaking waves.

"That's why," She pointed to three people with large flat boards heading towards the waves. "They are going surfing. Those are locals coming down to surf after working all day. They do it every day if there's good surf." The surfers looked at her and one gave her a funny little finger and thumb wave. "Shaka, brah," she called to him, giving him the same finger and thumb wave. He looked at the three people as they paddled out to the sea. Strong arms pushed against the current, heading out further.

"Are they going to drown out there?" He wondered. Just then he saw one stand up on his board as he caught a wave. Renji's eyes widened, it looked so fun.

"Do you want to try it? She asked, seeing his reaction. "We can paddle out and get wet at least. It takes years to master surfing." She said, as they watched a surfer fall off his board. That looked painful.

"You do that?" He asked, pointing. She laughed, cocked her head while she grabbed his arm. "Let's get on some gear."

XXX

He had assumed that gear meant a bathing suit. He kind of wanted to see Motomi in a bathing suit, well, sorta, but she came out of the bathroom in long shorts and a really tight shirt instead, showing off her slim figure. He shifted his eyes away from her as she threw some board shorts and a shiny shirt at him. He went to change. She grabbed her reiastsu shield cloak and put that on as well. She would have to surf with it on, which was going to be rather odd.

Smiling, she grabbed a board and they headed to the beach. This was her favorite thing to do in the world, and she missed it. Renji half expected the water to be a little cold, but it was warm. She splashed him playfully, getting his hair wet. "Hey," he yelled, "not the hair!"

Struggling to get on the board, Renji sat behind her as she paddled with her arms. He mimicked her. The waves tossed them around and over them. She had taken him to a more hidden cove where the waves weren't as strong; it wouldn't do for Renji to drown, if a Shinigami could even drown. She guessed they couldn't.

Motomi was in her own world. Surfing had been their family's life until a surfing accident took her father. Her mother didn't like the idea of her surfing after that, so she had put the dream of being a professional surfer out of her mind. Instead, she had concentrated on Japanese studies and finally moved to Japan. _If she had kept on with surfing her sister would still probably be alive, _she thought, frowning, her thoughts darkening.

Renji felt the familiar reiatsu flare. Motomi was deep in thought again. He gently touched her and she recoiled. "Sasaki-san, you were…." He stopped.

She put the thoughts aside. "Sorry, Abarai-san, I lost it for a second. I'm trying to keep the negative thoughts away, like Sensei taught me but they keep coming back." She said, sniffing a little and wiping her nose on her sleeve.

She brightened. "Get on your knees." She said. He looked at her, question in her eyes but he did as she asked. She paddled a little and she moved the board, keeping her eyes on the waves behind her. "Use your stomach for balance so you don't fall off."

The wave caught them and Renji felt the force as they went towards shore. He found himself screaming with excitement as he watched Motomi stand and bounce, forcing more action into the wave. Her balance was remarkable, he was having trouble staying on the board and she was standing! The wave lost its momentum and she hopped off.

"That was so fuckin' fun!" He yelled, "No wonder you like it so much!" He was like a kid. She was laughing again; watching Renji splash around the in water was the funniest thing she'd seen in her life. His crimson hair was all over his face, and he was grinning madly. "Best assignment ever!" He yelled to no one in particular.

Another large wave hit them and caught Renji off guard. Motomi grabbed him so he wouldn't get hit by the board. He felt her hands about his waist, trying to pull him up. The sound of surf was in his ears. He came up for air; her arms were still around him. He was still grinning. "Are you….." A kiss silence Motomi's words. He was kissing her, a slow, tentative kiss. He put his arms around her and held her there. Her heart was beating hard, she was sure he could hear it. Another wave came over them, but they were still locked deep in the kiss, her mouth opened a little and she moaned into his mouth. He could feel her reiatsu; it was pulsing slightly, not angry, not searching, just…warm.

Finally, he pulled back. "I've wanted to do that." He said, smiling. Another wave came over them, and she leaned against him. He tilted her chin upwards with his finger. "Please," he begged, "kiss me again." His lips found hers, and she found herself getting lost in his hair, all she could hear was her heart beating along with the pounding waves. He was a god, and he was kissing her. She pulled back suddenly.

"Abarai-san," she said, while playing with his hair, "we should head back." The sun was starting to set and she wanted to check on her mother.

"Umm….give me a minute." He said while adjusting something underneath the waves. He cursed the day Urahara made him a gigai, it had a mind of its own. Motomi laughed.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9- Lost Resolve

Back at the house, Renji stripped off his shirt just as Motomi walked in with some POG. He had taken a liking to that stuff. She looked away shyly when she saw his chest, she was blushing. He started to turn a little pink himself. "I'm going to take a shower." He said, grabbing a towel and his white kimono.

"Ok." She said. They hadn't said anything about the kiss, but she could still feel it on her lips. She changed out of her dripping clothes and pulled some shorts and a t-shirt. Her cloak was still slightly wet, but she put it on anyway. Frowning, she wished she had something more feminine to wear, something like lingerie. She blushed a little at the thought. She had been with a man before, but a man wasn't a god and the thought of Renji's body made her….shudder.

Putting those thoughts aside, she went to talk to her mother.

"Mom," She said to the darkened room. "Are you awake?" She heard her mother mutter softly.

"Yes, I'm awake. Did you go to the beach?" She asked, propping herself up. Motomi nodded. "Your shirt is wet." She said, fingering the fabric. "Why do you wear that all the time?" She asked.

"Uh, it's for good luck." She lied. "I love you mom. I'll see you in the morning." She kissed her mother's cheek.

Renji was lying on the bed, his arm over his eyes. His hair was down over his shoulders. She had the sudden urge to attack him with kisses but she didn't. After that first kiss, she had given in to the thoughts that kept boiling at the surface. She wanted him, she would be crazy not to.

"What are you thinking?" He heard him ask, his arm still over his eyes. "I can tell when you're thinking hard by your reiatsu."

"Umm…" She didn't want to tell him what she was thinking. Instead she asked, "Can a shinigami and a human, uh, be together?"

He smiled at her words. _There wasn't a simple answer to that one. _"They can make love, as long as the shinigami has a gigai."

Her mouth formed an O, but no sound came out. He lowered his arm and looked at her. "But it's not as simple as that. I really…..shouldn't have kissed you. It was wrong. I just got caught up in the moment and you…." He paused, searching for the right way to say it, "take my breath away."

Her eyes lowered. She wanted him, she can't have him. End of story. But he took a breath and continued, "I will have to go back to the soul society soon, I'm not supposed to get involved with humans. If I do, I will lose my place as a Fukutaicho Shinigami."

"I understand." She said, simply. _ If it wasn't to be, it just wasn't to be. _She thought.

He got up and left his gigai behind. "I'm going to go patrol." He said, and adjusting his zanpakuto, he went out the window. There wasn't much else to be said.

She was glad she was alone. She actually was now uncomfortable with him sleeping in the same room, but they were leaving for Japan tomorrow and she will eventually, she hoped, forget this nightmare. A solution would be forthcoming and she can go on with her life. She was tired but she needed to take a shower, she still smelled of ocean, and her hair was doing funny things.

Renji wasn't gone long, he had hoped to talk to her more before bed, but she was in the shower. She was doing a great job of masking her reiatsu; no Hollows had shown up, he was glad of that.

He was tired, the ocean made him tired, their situation made him tired, the knowledge he couldn't have her made him tired. He picked up his gigai and it wrapped around him. He stretched out on the bed. He just wanted to close his eyes for a second. His gigai needed more rest then his shinigami form did. He could hear her humming in the shower, as she always did. The thought of her in the shower brought a groan to his lips. This assignment was torture. He couldn't have her without risking…..everything.

His breathing slowed and he closed his eyes and in the warmth of the bed he tried to put her beautiful body out of his mind. _Just five minutes, _he said to himself. _I'll move to the floor when she comes out._

But she didn't. When she got out of the shower and put on her pajamas, Motomi found him peacefully sleeping on the bed, and she didn't have the heart to wake him. Feeling sleepy herself she decided to sleep on the other side of the bed. She wanted to feel his body near her, just once, his warmth resting her mind. She calmed her reiatsu by breathing deeply and inhaled his beautiful scent, a mixture of sweat and spice.

Several hours had passed and Renji startled awake. The feel of a soft touch on his chest made him jump. "Whaaaa," he began. In the dim light he saw that Motomi had returned to bed without waking him to move. In her sleep she had curled next to him and laid her hand on his chest. He smiled. This felt so right. Not wanting to wake her, he softly moved the hair out of her face. She smelled like strawberries. She was twenty-two years old and still used a kid's shampoo. He stared at her lips wondering if he could just have one more kiss. Just one. But he knew he couldn't go there.

His thoughts elsewhere, he didn't notice her eyes flutter and open. "Abarai-san." She whispered. "What time is it?" She then noticed her hand on his chest. "I'm sor…."

Renji startled himself and her when he silenced her with a kiss. He was heading down the road of destruction, happily. The kiss was soft at first, like the first rain of spring. He broke the kiss to look into her eyes, and then proceeded to kiss her again, more deeply. He licked his tongue against her lips begging her to let him play with her mouth. He rose up on his knees without breaking the kiss, his tongue playing with her tongue, his breath mingling with her breath. Feeling her moan into his mouth, he smirked; she was enjoying this as much as he was. He broke the kiss to trail down her neck with his mouth, leaving tiny wet lines. She found her voice. "Abar…" she moaned. She had dropped the "san," or rather; his tiny bites on her neck had silenced them. He got to her earlobe and licked with his tongue.

"What you do to me." He whispered. His gigai had a mind of its own. His breath had become shallow and his now bulging cock strained against his jeans. Motomi found her hands on his chest, and he groaned when she scratched her nails down his chest and sides. His gigai was a little ticklish. His hands found her breasts under her pajamas and he gave her right nipple a playful pinch. His mouth returned to her neck and he was drunk on her sweet scent and beautiful skin.

Motomi touched softly with her hands, lower and lower until she came to the waist band of his jeans. She stopped. In the soft light she could see his hard cock kept prisoner in his jeans. He wanted her, badly.

"Abarai-san," she said suddenly, while her stomach flip flopped at his kisses continued on her neck, his mouth making small sucking noises that turned her knees to jelly.

"Mmmmmm," he said, not wanting to tear away from her neck.

"Abarai-san," she said, her reiatsu flaring slightly along with her words.

He stopped and looked into her eyes. "Do you want me to stop?" He said, hoping the answer was no.

"I….I don't want you to stop," she admitted, bringing a smile to his lips, "but we must." She continued. "If you lost his place because of me, I could not bear it." His eyes clouded and he started shaking. The tough exterior dissolved before her eyes. He took a breath.

"I want to be expelled," He yelled. "For you I would be expelled! I'm falling for you, my beautiful Motomi-chan. I can see it in your eyes you want me too."

"I…" Again her words were silenced by his kisses. "I want you….Renji." She said when his mouth had left hers to find her neck again. Their resolve was gone.

But the love making was cut short. A Hollow screeched somewhere in the distance and his Hollow tracker beeped suddenly. Renji's blood turned to ice, his senses ready to take the Hollow out. He groaned loudly. He just wanted to take Motomi into his arms and heal her broken soul. "Ugh," he said, "When I get back I want you to be out of your clothes." He commanded playfully.

Motomi squeaked and nodded. Leaving behind his gigai, he ran to kill the Hollow and return quickly.

The Hollow was a powerful one. His mind on _other_ things, he missed a good opening and almost paid for it when the Hollow clawed at him. It caught him in the shoulder and four bloody claw marks appeared.

"Shit," he grunted. But gained the upper hand and finally took it out. "Die you fucker!" He yelled. His breath heaving and blood running down his arm, he staggered back to the waiting Motomi.

He peaked into the window and noticed she was mostly naked, except for the reiatsu shielding cloak. He could see her breast peeking out from underneath it. "Shit," he muttered, holding his arm. He didn't want his wound to delay their next step. But the sight of her body stirred him. He went inside quietly, like a cat. He wanted to pounce on her.

"You're hurt!" She yelled when she saw his wounds. Her reiatsu flickered slightly.

He sat down on the bed and took a look at the wound. "It's nothing," he reassured her. "It happens." She ran naked into the bathroom to get the first aid kit and a bowl with water. His eyes trailed after her.

She sponged the wound carefully as Renji held his breath. Sometimes Hollow wounds sting like a spider bite. This one sure did. The bleeding stopped and Motomi breathed a sigh of relief. "It doesn't need stiches." she said, while bandaging his arm. He returned to his gigai.

"Never mind," He stated. "I'll be fine. But you're absolutely beautiful."

She had forgotten she was naked. She smiled shyly and blushed. "Thank you."

"Where were we," He breathed and leaned over her naked body, his arms pulling her towards him. His wound forgotten, he kissed her longingly, like he hadn't seen her in a decade. He undressed quickly, mindful that another Hollow could show up anytime. Motomi felt herself shudder when she saw his body. His chest and abs were so tight; she wanted to kiss them to prove they were real. He had the body of a god. The tattoos went over his arms and his chest and down into his pelvis. He followed them down with her eyes and then started to trace them with her fingers. Renji groaned.

She couldn't think anymore as his kisses grew harder. She gave into the kiss. Devouring his mouth she scratched her nails down his back again. He seemed to like that. He groaned again, louder. Her stomach was flip-flopping as the heat built in her loins. She arched her back towards him and rubbed against his now hard cock. Her hands found his cock and she stroked it gently at first, and seeing his eyes close with ecstasy, she stroked it harder, using her spit as a lubricant.

"Keep doing that and I won't last long, my love." He whispered.

She stifled a giggle. She didn't think she could have that effect on him. But she ignored his words and continued to play with his cock. Her breasts called to his mouth and he willingly went to service them. She arched her back again as his kisses and small bites made her nipples sore. "mmmmmm," she purred. He moved lower and lower until he reached her clit. It was wet and needy. It had been a long time since she'd been with a man. Two years? More?

"Motomi-chan," he murmured softly, "I want you so bad it hurts." He quickly plunged a finger into her while licking her clit in circles. Her fingers ran through his hair as she moaned. Just this much was moving her towards ecstasy. He placed another finger into her tight hole. She was so close, the warmth spread through her body and she gasped. Her eyes closed and she held her breath. His tongue went faster in circles and her back arched again as she found herself over the edge. She pushed into his tongue and he tasted her orgasm in his mouth. He watched her face as she came. She panted heavily as she came down and his tongue went to find her mouth. She tasted herself on his mouth. "Did you like that, love?"

"Please, fuck me." He was surprised by her dirty mouth.

"Oh god yes, I plan to." He cock plunged into her tight hole that was still quivering. He would make her cum again. He loved the look on her face when he made her cum. It drove him crazy.

His breath quickened as he pumped harder, her moans growing louder and louder. He didn't care if her mother heard their love making. He could feel her walls tighten as he lifted her hips to get another angle. He twisted around until he heard her groan, sounding animal like, a very sexy animal. He had found the spot. Grabbing her butt again, his muscles tightened as he himself got closer. Her hands dropped to the bed and clutched at the covers, like she would float away if she didn't hold on for dear life. He closed his eyes and felt her get tighter and tighter. She practically screamed when she came this time, her legs spread wider and her breath became shallow and very sexy. Her sounds made him go over the edge and he pushed harder and harder into her. He was seeing stars and he grunted and closed his eyes as he came. He didn't really want it to end. He stopped and leaned down to kiss her again, brushing the hair from her face. His cock still quivered slightly. He rolled next to her and looked into her eyes. She was smiling.

She sighed and closed her eyes. Her reiatsu was so calm; he couldn't feel it at all. Maybe sexual gratification helped. He'd have to tell that idea to the Central 46. They would laugh, or, maybe not.

He held her in his arms, and kissing her forehead, he fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 – A Sick Visitor

Motomi woke to the feeling of hot breath in her ear. Renji had an arm around her but was still asleep. She didn't want to wake him, but they needed to say their goodbyes and take their leave.

The feeling of someone rubbing their fingers up and down his arm woke him up quickly. Opening his eyes, he was shocked to see Motomi staring at his morning wood. He had been dreaming, a nice dream for once, about her and him and the beach.

"Good morning beautiful," he said, while running his fingers through his hair. He tried to put it in a ponytail but she stopped him.

"Leave it down," she begged, while reaching for his cock. His eyebrow went up. She began to stroke up and down, softly. It tickled a little.

"Oh you naughty little kitten you." He said. She growled and leaned over him. "What the hell?" He said, as she took his cock in her mouth. "Motomi-chan, ahhh, you're making me crazy." A sound from the kitchen made her stop. Her mother was up and in the next room.

Motomi stifled a giggle. That would have to wait for later. Renji pouted a little but wrapped Motomi in his arms and kissed her on the forehead.

Motomi dressed quickly and went to find her mother. Renji stared out the window listening to the pounding surf in the distance. _The world had not ended, the Central 46 hadn't come to take him away, and they were still together. _He breathed a sigh of relief; he didn't know what would have happened. Their worlds didn't revolve around the two of them anyway. He dressed and went to join Motomi in the kitchen.

Her mother eyed him. "Did you have fun last night?" She said, his brow furrowed, he didn't understand. He looked at Motomi for clarification.

"What did she say? He asked, taking the juice Motomi offered him. He noticed her blushing.

"Mooooooommm," She yelled. From the tone of Motomi's voice, whatever her mother had said was not going to be translated for him. Renji smiled and winked at Motomi's mom, who had a rather shocked look on her face.

XXX

"Goodbye mom, I'll call you when we get home." She said, hugging her mom, a tiny tear running down her cheek. "I'll come home during the summer, ok?" She promised. Her mother looked at Renji, he bowed and smiled.

"Please take care of Motomi," She said in Japanese to him, her voice breaking. He nodded. They waved to Motomi's mom as they boarded the plane.

The flight was uneventful and a lot less stressful, he had gotten used to it. He still held Motomi's hand when they took off, but more because he wanted to. He would have to get used to living a human life, if he was to share his life with Motomi. The thought of that made him smile. He was glad that Urahara had created a gigai that made Shinigami human, enabling him to make that dream a reality, even if Urahara had gotten expelled for it.

He looked at Motomi who seemed very deep in thought. "Motomi-chan, are you ok?"

Her eyes seemed red, like she wanted to cry, but was holding back. "Thinking about my sister."

"What was she like?" He asked. He took her hand and brushed his lips lightly on them, smelling her wonderful scent.

"Well, we looked alike, but our personalities were different. We are like Yin/Yang, two different sides of the same coin. She was so small when she was born; they thought she wouldn't make it. When we were in school she got picked on a lot, so I took the role of protector, I guess. Because of that I got into a lot of fights with other kids." She shrugged, "I guess that's why my parents called me the black sheep."

"Black sheep?" He wondered, _what did that mean_.

"Oh, they were kidding, but a black sheep is the one in the family that makes trouble. Trouble either found me or I found it." She sighed and leaned back into her seat. "The one time I wasn't there to protect her and this happens." The tears were starting to well in her eyes; she wiped them with the back of her hand. "Hey," she said, changing the subject, "what did you like best about Hawaii?"

"You." He said, and rubbed her cheek tenderly with the back of his hand. She smiled. "Get some sleep, ok?"

She nodded and closed her eyes. Renji closed his eyes too, but her words had him puzzled . . ._Yin/Yang, two sides of the same coin, _what did that mean? He leaned back into the chair and the engines droning sounds soothed him, and he slept.

The dream again. He tried to pay attention this time. The river of light pulsed slightly as it ran in and around the Seireitei, stopping in front of a room. It puddled at the room's door, but didn't go any further. He tried to open the door but it was locked. A beeping sound startled him awake. They were landing. Japan looked so grey after the lush greens and blues of Hawaii. He nudged Motomi slightly. "Motomi-chan, he whispered, we're landing." She stretched and yawned, smiling.

"Well, back to reality, more or less." She said, smiling and grabbing her things.

XXX

It was raining when they arrived at her apartment, a cold, hard rain. She shivered slightly as they put their things down and Motomi went to turn on the heat.

"Re-renji-chan." She called from the other room, panic in her voice, the cold weather forgotten. He ran when he heard the fear in her voice. He stopped when he saw Kurotsuchi, Taicho of the 12th division, sitting cross legged on the floor. His Fukutaicho, Nemu Kurotsuchi stood quietly at his side.

Motomi had her hand over her mouth and she shook slightly. "What brings you here?" Renji asked. He wasn't surprised that the Taicho had his reiatsu shielded. His skull-like face grinned at Renji with child-like glee.

"Renji-chan….well, we've gotten rather chummy, haven't you." He paused a moment. "I've come to find this situation . . . very interesting." He said, his odd voice echoing off the walls. Motomi took a step back.

"I need to complete my research but discovered I'm missing something. I think your sister is only half of the story. Her reiatsu has created such a mess that I finally had to do a complete memory wipe." He chuckled a little. "Even then her reiatsu broke through again. The Central 46 has had enough of this problem, but I was able to stall them a little longer." He looked at Renji. "I don't think you would have liked what their decision was going to be, Abarai." Renji's expression didn't change, but he found his hands balling into a fist. _Yeah, he could imagine._

Motomi looked at the oddly painted Shinigami, and found her voice, but it shook. "Wha-who are you?" She asked, haltingly.

"I am Taicho Kurotusuchi, head of the 12th division, and 2nd President of the Shinigami Research Institute." He took a breath. "You have such an odd reiatsu." He could feel it flaring slightly. "Ah, it's building up again, huh." He stood and fingered the cloak she was wearing. "Urahara's work, I take it."

Renji took Motomi by the arm. "Don't touch her." He said, even though he was his superior, this guy always gave him the creeps.

"I won't now, that can wait until later." He said a sneer in his voice. Through his fingers Renji could feel Motomi's reiatsu pulsing. She was trying to control it, but she was getting angry and afraid. She had every reason to fear Kurotusuchi.

"What do you want, out with it; I'm tired of this sick shit." He said, his anger rising.

"Well, Abarai, I just wanted to see this Hollow slaying kido for myself. I'm hoping I can get a little demonstration. Such power from an untrained human is rare." He said, cocking his head.

Renji shook his head. "I don't think it works that way. She was…."

"Are you now the head of Research and Development Abarai?" He interrupted his voice rising slightly, flicking that long middle nail at him. "I can make it happen. The cloak works well, but I can see she's losing her tenacity." He turned to Motomi. "Isn't that right?"

His voice was harsh, it didn't help her control her breathing. A bead of sweat dripped from her forehead. "I don't think she likes me very much, does she, Abarai." He said a note of disappointment in his voice.

_Yeah, nobody likes you much, asshole. _He thought his teeth on edge.

"Well, we can just sit and wait this out, trouble will come to us." He sat down cross legged again. "You can make it happen faster if you take off the cloak."

She looked at him, her eyes wide. She turned to Renji. "If that is what you want." She started to take of the cloak. Renji stopped her, his hand on her shoulder.

"He's got no right to ask you to do that." He turned to the grinning Taicho. "You would put a lot of shinigami in danger; you would do that for the sake of an experiment?" He asked, his voice rising. He knew the answer though; his experiments always put someone in danger.

"Of course, Abarai, it's my job." He said, smirking. "Your sister was such a wonderful study," he continued, as he leaned on his elbows. "She helped me willingly; I think she rather took a liking to me. Of course, the techniques I used on her were rather painful but she knew it was for the sake of research. She seemed to enjoy it, didn't she my daughter." He didn't wait for a reply. "A little pain now and then is good for the soul. I'm sure you agree, right my dear?" He said, eyeing Motomi. Her eyes were starting to get red, she was getting angry and her control was starting to weaken.

"Enough!" yelled Renji, "stop baiting her with your sick stories."

"Oh but it's not story. I'm afraid your sister is rather put out at the moment. The Central 46 put her in a Sekkisekishielded room, but they will make a decision soon as to what to _do…with…her. _He emphasized those last three words with that long fingernail of his.

_The dream, Motomi's sister was asking for help. _He closed his eyes and tried to think of what to do next.

His voice sickened Motomi, her trembling body refused to listen to her. _She was baiting him, but what if it were true? What if her sister was in pain and going crazy? And what were they going to do to her sister?_

"You sick fuck," Renji said, coming out of his gigai and unsheathing his zanpakuto.

e

"What, are you going to attack me Abrarai? What would the Central 46 think of that? You're already on thin ice as it is. They know about your…_ministrations _with the human you were supposed to protect." He paused, giving a leering look at Motomi. "Not that I blame you, Abarai. She's cute, like her sister."

Renji felt his arm stiffening, but held himself in check. He could feel Motomi's reiatsu boiling over. It started to flicker again then flashed brightly, turning black and red, like a bloody bruise. Taicho Kurotusuchi's words were having the intended effect. Their awkward silence was broken when Renji's Hollow tracker went off.

"Ahhh, well, I think I'm going to get my wish." He said, hope in his voice. He unsheathed his zanpakuto. "Shall we go watch the fun Abarai?" He said, pointing his weapon at his chest.

"I need to go purge that hollow, you better let me pass." Renji said through gritted teeth. "I have a job to do."

Kurotusuchi brought his face close to Renji, his eyes narrowed slightly, "Yes I'm sure you do, Abarai, as do I."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11-Hollow Bait

_This is not going to end well, _Renji thought. He looked at the perpetually grinning Taicho. Even if he did fight him he wouldn't win, the Shinigami was a master at trickery and kido. His fists clenched.

He wasn't the least bit surprised when Motomi bolted out the door. "Motomi!" He called after her.

"Abarai, let her go." He commanded.

"But…" Renji started. His words wore cut short as the Taicho whispered a binding spell. Renji slumped to the floor. "You sick fuck, she's going to get hurt out there." He said, while struggling.

"Struggle all you want, it will only get tighter if you do." Kurotsuchi said as he levitated out the window. "Keep a watch on our little Renji-chan for me," he ordered to his Fukutaicho.

It was still raining hard and the streets were empty. At first, Motomi couldn't see the hollows in the darkness. The street lights reflected off the wet surface of the pavement. She could hear the Taicho chuckling softly behind her. "Come out, little Hollows," he called, "We have a tasty treat for you."

Renji struggled harder but he felt the binding spell tighten around his arms. He sucked in a breath and tried to calm himself, but it was difficult with Motomi's reiatsu, which was weighing his body down. His head was pounding again. _How are we going to get out of this?_

Motomi felt a moment of panic as two Hollows came around a building. They were huge black and white creatures with grinning skull like faces. _What am I supposed to do? What did I do last time? _She tried to remember, but all she summoned up was that she had been angry, so angry that she was almost blinded by it.

And she was angry now. She felt her body tremble with it, her mind clouded by it. She focused on all the times someone had hurt her sister, her fists clenched and she had the sudden urge to punch that grinning Taicho in the face. Instead, she focused her energy and turned towards the closest Hollow. She could hear it breathing, his breath smelled like the dead.

She braced herself, feeling the weight shift from one foot the other, and then she sent all those thoughts out. Something connected, she wasn't sure what. The Hollow screeched as it fell into a lamppost. Sparks exploded around her, and she shielded herself.

"Ahhh, nice," Praised the Taicho behind her. "I'm impressed, for a human you're doing rather well."

She ignored him. Instead of waiting for the hollow to come to her, she ran hard towards it and sent out another wave of her energy. A red ball of light exploded and the Hollow screeched and was gone. Motomi let out a ragged breath.

Renji could feel the energy of Motomi's fight. From the sound of it she was winning, his brow coated in sweat, he had stopped struggling, hoping the binds would relax enough for his to be free. He looked at to the Fukutaicho for help, but she was busy watching the fight outside.

Motomi faced the other Hollow who seem a lot bigger. It opened its mouth and let out a fierce screech. The noise was excruciating. She shivered slightly and goose bumps formed on her arms, the rain had soaked through her clothes.

She clenched her teeth, her jaw hurt from concentrating. "Come at me fucker!" She yelled. The Hollow obliged, charging at her full speed. She braced herself and sent out another wave of energy. She missed.

The Hollow caught her fully in the chest, sending her flying. Her back hit a car's bumper sending waves of pain through her. The wind rushed out of her, and she gasped for breath and swallowed the metallic taste of blood in her mouth as she bit her tongue. She couldn't move and her stomach and back exploded in pain and she begged for the agony to stop.

The Hollow descended onto her, its mouth open, ready to devour her. She closed her eyes. _What happened when you got eaten by a Hollow, _she thought. _Would she join her sister or did you go somewhere else? _She tried to think about Renji, but the shooting pains throughout her body wouldn't let her.

She felt the Hollow's breath, hot on her face and hair. Suddenly it wasn't there anymore. She blinked and through the rain she saw the familiar green and white hat of Urahara draw the Hollow away from her. The pain made her breath ragged. Something was wrong, the pain was too much.

Renji heard the sickening sound as flesh hit metal, Motomi was hurt. He struggled again, trying to break the binding spell. He was rewarded when he felt the binding spell loosen, the Fukutaicho had released him. "Go to her, she's hurt." She said, and he took off.

He found her, slumped against the car, blood running from her lips. It was bad. He wiped the blood from her mouth and she gasped slightly. "Renji, I…..fell down." She tried to look up at him, look him in the eyes. She weakly touched his chest with her hands, trying to grab onto his shihakusho. The rain cascaded down her face as he smoothed her hair.

"Don't talk," he pleaded. He heard the slap of clogs behind him. Urahara had taken out the Hollow and was coming to help. Renji looked at him worriedly. Her reiatsu was fading. He could feel her energy waver as he held her in the rain.

"Renji-cha….I. . ." She started to say something, but her hand dropped from his chest, her breathing wavered and then stopped. Renji shook with the sudden loss, tears mixed with the rain and he sobbed into her broken body.

He had not kept his promise. He hadn't protected her.

After what seemed like hours, he felt a familiar hand touching his back and he straightened and looked up. He watched as Motomi's spirit left her body. The chain of fate linked to her chest. She looked at him smiling. "I will see you soon?" She asked, cocking her head. He didn't have the heart to tell her, she wouldn't remember him when she got to the soul society. He just smiled, unsheathed his zanpakuto and through his tears he sent her on her journey. She was gone.

From far away he could hear an animal's cry and discovered it was his own voice.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12-Dark Memories

There wasn't much to be said. He bowed low to the Central 46 who admonished him for his relationship with the human and then they excused him without pay for a month. He didn't care. He was going to use the time to find Motomi.

Every day he walked one district, hoping to feel her reiatsu or just see her. And every day his heart broke a little more. He missed her. He yearned to feel her touch, to see her do that little head tilt. One month passed and he resumed his duties. But he still searched for her as much as his duties would allow him.

His Taicho , Byakuya Kuchiki, kept him busy, hoping he would forget this girl. But he understood. He had loved like that and lost. But Renji, being stubborn would not give up. Renji moved like in a fog through his days, and then drank himself in a stupor until he forgot. Sometimes, he would awaken in the night covered in sweat, hearing the thump of her body hitting the car. It was almost enough to drive him insane that first few months.

_He had failed to protect her. _He wanted to tell her he was sorry, he wanted to kill that Kurotsuchi for allowing this to happen. He wanted… her.

Months had passed and then a year and things kept on as they were. His friends tried everything, even Rukia came and talked with him, trying to get him to move on, but it didn't help. He had lost his heart to her and he wasn't going to give up.

Renji was watching recruits going through training on a warm spring day. He was sweating under the hot sun and annoyed as each recruit failed to respond properly to his commands. "Do the drill again," He ordered. "Remember your footwork, do not rock on the back of your heels, your balance should be on both feet and centered!" He called, his voice rising. The new recruits would be the death of him; he couldn't remember seeing a worse lot. His train of thought was interrupted when he heard loud cursing and yelling coming from the eastern gate of the Seireitei. Someone was being brought in for some infraction.

"Get a move on." A loud voice commanded. Renji wasn't really listening but his training was being interrupted by the commotion. All the recruits stopped to see who was being brought in. He heard whispering among them as they rested on their swords.

"Ow, fuck! She kicked me," yelled the guardian. Curiosity got the better of Renji and he turned to look.

It was her. Motomi. His eyes widened and he felt as if he wasn't breathing. He slowly started walking towards her. She struggled with her captor and said obscenities under her breath. She looked up when she saw Renji's shadow. She had a cut on her face and she was sweating in the heat.

The guardian held up a basket of apples. "She was stealing food."

And then Renji felt it, her reiatsu. He continued to stare at her, his weight shifting on his feet. _What had he wanted to say to her when he saw her? He had thought about it a million times in his head. _

She stared back, her brow furrowing. In the sun Renji appeared to scowl and looked rather angry. "Well," she asked, "are you going to say something or just stare at me." She said, angrily.

Renji took a breath. "Are you hungry?" He asked, kneeling down in front of her. "Do you want the apples?"

"I'm….." She looked away. _What was she supposed to say? _Most people in the Soul Society never got hungry, but she did.

"She needs to be tested." Renji said finally. He wasn't surprised that she didn't recognize him that would be asking the impossible. But just being near her was enough to make his heart pound. "And get her something to eat."

"Yes, Abarai-sama." He answered, and led her away. Renji watched them go. She was here, in the Seireitei and exhibiting Shinigami powers. He tried to keep his stomach from flip-flopping at the sight of her. Now he knew what giddy felt like.

He returned to the recruits and gave another order but wasn't really paying attention in the slightest. Frustrated that he just couldn't take off after her, wrap her in his arms and carry her off to his bedroom, he leaned on his zanpakuto and thought about what to do.

The realization came to him. He would start over, he would ask her out, and try to get her to remember him.

XXX

"Try the drill again." Fukutaicho Tetsyzaemon Iba called to his new group of recruits. They all seemed to stumble over each other as they tried to remember their balance and footing. It was a sorry sight. He shook his head as Renji approached. Renji was eyeing Motomi's skill with her practice sword, she was good. "Were we ever this bad Abarai-san?" He asked, observing his recruits.

Renji laughed. "It was so long ago, but I certainly hope not."

"You seem to be in a better mood Abarai-san," Iba said, noticing Renji's sly smile and easy laugh.

He nodded. _Yeah, he felt great. _His eyes didn't leave Motomi as she trained, her balance was incredible and she stood out from the rest. "Do you mind if I spar with that one?" He asked, pointing the end of his zanpakuto at Motomi.

Iba looked up, "Go right ahead. She needs to spar with someone, she keeps beating the other recruits and they are all slightly afraid of her."

Renji chuckled slightly as he walked over to her. "Care to spar, M….recruit?" He asked. He almost said _Motomi-chan_.

Her eyebrows rose slightly in recognition. "You are that Shinigami from the day I got here." She said, cocking her head. She bowed to him. "Thank you for your help. I was going to come in person to thank you."

"I am Fukutaicho Renji Abarai. I was glad to be of service to you." He said, trying to be as formal as possible.

"My name is Motomi Sasaki." She said, raising her practice zanpakuto.

_Yeah, _Renji thought, _you're my Motomi-chan._

She looked up at the man; he was so tall and good looking. He looked strong. She had heard about him from other women, he kept to himself mostly. There was a rumor going around that his love had died recently and he was heartbroken. She felt kind of sorry for him, but that didn't mean she would go easy on him.

She went at him, keeping her sword close to her body and her balance even. She tried the technique she has used earlier with her feet, trying to trip him, but he moved quickly and she wasn't successful. She got in close to him and he blocked her move. She could feel his hot breath on her face as he blocked her zanpakuto. She drew back.

Renji was enjoying sparring with her. He could smell her hair, the distinct smell of strawberries. He was having a hard time paying attention to her moves as he thought of that night they spent together. The only night they had before she was taken from him.

He frowned as she tried the tripping move again, and he almost ended up on his back. She was learning fast. The other recruits had stopped their practice to watch them. They heard the cheers and shouts urging Motomi on. They wanted her to beat him.

He tried a quick move on her and she ended up on her back, stunned from the sudden effort. He pointed his sword at her face. She was beaten and she didn't like it. Cat calls erupted from the group. Her face was getting red and he felt the familiar energy pulsing. He lowered his sword and pinched his nose with his fingers. He had a headache again.

"Sorry, I still have troubles controlling it sometimes." She said, rolling to get up. She took a deep breath.

"Yeah, will you calm your reiatsu? It's giving me a headache." He felt it again as it touched him slightly, like a caress of a lover's hand. It then retreated.

He watched her face change when he said those words. Her brow creased with thought. _Why did that sound familiar? _ She thought, looking at the Fukutaicho who was still nursing his headache.

He shook the headache away. She was thinking hard, he could always tell when she was. "What are you thinking about?" He asked her.

"I'm trying to remember something." She said. "I feel like I've forgotten something." She chewed her lip thoughtfully and wiped the sweat from her brow.

Renji smiled. "Would you like to go out with me tonight, and see if we can remember together?" He asked, hopeful she would say yes. His eyebrows rose in question.

She was startled by his sudden request. She lowered her eyes and cocked her head. "Ok." She said, and he smiled.

XXX

Giddy. That was the word he used to describe this feeling. It would be a second chance for him and her. He didn't care if she remembered their life together from before, they could make new memories.

He was going to take Motomi out. They had never had a date in the real world, not really. He thought about surfing with her and kissing in the water. He tried to think of everything else but that night she died and . . . . He shook his head of the thought.

Renji looked up from his paperwork when his Taicho came in. "Abarai." He paused in front of his desk. "I heard you are going out with that new recruit tonight." He said. Renji nodded. He paused a moment and then continued. "Don't try to make her remember. Some things are better left forgotten. You can leave if you want." He said curtly, and walked into his office. Renji thought about what he had said._ If she got her to remember will she remember that night she died, the pain?_

He was giddy. It took him everything he had not to just bolt from his desk. He calmly said his goodbyes and headed over to the women's dorms to pick up Motomi for their date. Giddy, that word echoed in his mind. It was one of those crazy words that described his exact feeling.

He sighed. He straightened his hair as he walked, pulling the band tighter. He wanted to look nice. As he walked he started to hear voices nearby, the women were laughing.

"How do I look?" He heard Motomi asked. He smiled. He didn't want to eavesdrop but he couldn't help it.

"Let us fix your hair, Motomi-chan, you will look so cute with your hair up." One of the recruits said. He heard Motomi laugh again. He loved that laugh. "You are so lucky Motomi-chan, he hasn't been interested in dating anyone till you came, he's been brooding for over a year."

"A year? What happened?" She asked.

"What I heard is that he fell in love with a human. He was charged with her protection and then….." The girl mumbled so he didn't catch that part. "And then she was killed by a Hollow. She died in his arms." Renji frowned; he didn't like hearing that dark memory out loud.

Motomi sat pondering what she had heard. "That is so sad. Did he look for her? She has to be here in the Soul Society, somewhere."

"Yeah, I think he still looks for her. But he asked you out not her, so maybe he's moved on." The girl finished. Motomi shook her head and admired her hair up. It looked nice.

Renji knocked. "Hello," He said to the girl that opened the door. They all looked at him with that grin girls get when he was around. It made him uncomfortable. He scratched his head. "I'm here for Sasaki-san."

"Bring her back in once piece, Fukataicho Abarai." They called after the couple.

XXXX

As he walked he fought the urge to hold her hand. Instead, he started chewing on his thumbnail. He would have to break that habit again. "You look….beautiful." He said, walking slowly to match her pace.

"Thank you" She said, not looking at him. She was blushing. "Abarai-San…..can I ask you a question?" He nodded and stopped walking.

"What was the human girl's name, the one you fell in love with?" He paused, his Taicho's words echoed in his ears. _Don't let her remember,_ _some things are better left forgotten._ He paused and took a breath.

"Motomi Sasaki." He watched her face as she considered his words. Her face grew pale, she started shaking. Her reiatsu suddenly shot out energy to all directions and then she fainted, Renji almost didn't have time to catch her as she fell.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13-Eternity

She was dreaming she was sure of it. The rain ran down her face as she challenged a strange creature; its cries broke through the noise of the rain. She could hear someone chuckle softly behind her, the chuckle wasn't a nice one; it had the tone of power and evil. She didn't run. She wasn't afraid for some reason. She should have been. The creature was approaching and she felt power come out of her body and it fell, disappearing. But there was another one, this one was bigger, its jaws dripped with saliva. It lunged at her and she sensed something strike her and then…..pain. Not just pain, agony. She tried to scream but she had no air in her lungs and she tasted blood.

She sat up suddenly, confused in the dark. She tried to reach for her cell phone but it wasn't there. She blinked and tried to shake the dream out of her head. Her eyes focused and she realized she wasn't in her apartment. She was on a mat on the floor.

"She's awake." She heard someone say. And then someone was at her side, concern in her eyes. "How are you, Sasaki-san?" The woman asked.

"I…I….don't know where I am." She asked haltingly, in the dim light she thought she recognized the woman. Retsu Unohana, captain of the fourth division. She had tested her when she first came to the Academy. The Academy. It came back to her quickly, the memories jumbling one after another. She tried to slow them down. She looked at the Taicho, "Was I injured?" She asked.

The woman smiled. "You could say that, Sasaki-san." She said, as she looked into her eyes, studying her. "What do you remember?" She asked finally.

"I fought a Hollow and I was injured. And then….." Realization formed in her mind. "Renji-chan. I remember Renji-chan, is he ok? Where is he? I need to find him, tell him I remember." Her words ran together and she started to get up.

The woman smiled, and patted her back down softly. "Please Sasaki-san, you have to take your time. You are one of the few Shinigami that has remembered their past life. Unfortunately, that meant you had to live through your death again." She said a note of concern in her voice. "It's not a welcome gift."

She felt someone come to the door. Renji. He was smiling at her but looked like he hadn't slept. How long was she out? Motomi smiled at him. He started to chew on his thumbnail.

"Renji-chan," She whispered. He came to her and dropped to his knees. He smoothed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, and then settled on her lips. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. Her heart pounded and she had the sudden urge to pounce on him. "I remember." She said finally.

"I'm sorry, Motomi-chan, I'm sorry." He hugged her and she rocked him slightly. "I couldn't protect you." He was shaking.

"It wasn't your fault." She said, as she held him tight.

His grip on her loosened and he pulled back. "I have a surprise for you." He looked to the door and her eyes followed his gaze. Her sister was standing there.

A choke erupted in her throat. "Mitsuko-chan!" She yelled, sitting upright. "I thought I'd never see you again!" Mitsuko smiled and Motomi cocked her head. "Do you remember me?" She asked, hopeful.

"It's fuzzy," She answered. Motomi could feel her sister's reiatsu coming toward her, unlike hers; it was light and warm, and felt comforting. It touched her. Mitsuko smiled. "I missed you." She said finally and went to hug her sister.

They turned to Renji. "Thank you for bringing us together." They said in unison, almost like a duet. They looked at each other and laughed.

Giddy. He had that feeling again.

XXX

Motomi was released and went back to her duties. Her sister was also accepted into the Academy and no one was surprised. They were together all the time. Renji watched them spar together from his office. They were almost done for the day and he was looking forward to spending some time with her. They had been so busy, that is was difficult to be together.

"You can leave Abarai, we're done here," called his Taicho from his office. He nodded and bowed. "Thank you Taicho." He quickly left before he could change his mind.

He had the sudden urge to grab Motomi from her sparring practice and just carry her off. He smiled at the thought, but that would embarrass her. She looked up at him and smiled as he came down to the field. She bowed to her sister as they finished their sparring. She was sweating.

"You are both getting good; I may have to watch my step." He winked at Mitsuko; she smiled and cocked her head. He turned to Motomi. "You know, we never did finish that date." Motomi giggled.

She thought back to the day she remembered him. They had made love that night and the many nights after. But each time seemed new, exciting. The thought of it made her blush and heat built in her stomach.

She grabbed his arm. "I'll see you later Mitsuko-chan." She called after her sister.

"Where are we going?" He asked. She just winked at him.

They arrived at his house. "This is our date." She said, pushing him on the bed. "But on this date, I'm in charge." She cocked her head and untied his hair. It fell around his shoulders. "Just lie there, and be quiet, I need a shower." Renji inhaled sharply as he saw the lust in her eyes. She turned to him, "When I get back, you better be undressed." She eyed him.

"Uhhhhh," he groaned, as he watched her go. "Shower? Motomi-chan, the shower can wait." She gave him a sharp look and he shut his mouth. He started to undress as ordered.

She was humming in the shower. She was driving him crazy and he started touching himself. He was so horny that if he just took the edge off he would last longer later. He started to stroke up and down, faster and faster.

Motomi came out of the bathroom; she stared at him as he stroked himself. His breath was shallow and his eyes were closed. She cleared her throat and he stopped and opened his eyes. She was blushing a little. "I told you to just lie there." She commanded. "You need to be punished."

_Oh this was going to be fun, thought_ Renji, eyeing her beautiful nakedness. He wanted to do naughty things to her body, but he held himself in check. He watched her grab her obi. _What the heck?_

See pounced on him and deftly tied his hands to the bed frame. He struggled, a little. She started kissing his forehead, his eyes, and the tip of his nose. She flicked her tongue against his lips and he tried to sit up and kiss her. He wanted to devour her mouth. "Ah, Motomi-chan, I want to touch you." He seethed, his breath becoming uneven.

She looked up at him, she had her mouth around his nipple, kissing and biting, sending shudders down his body. She bit down on his right nipple a little harder and he arched his back towards her, feeing his cock rub against her thighs. He was making wonderful noises. "Boy toys need to be quiet," she commanded.

"Boy Toy?" He asked, _oh hell no. _She went lower, licking as she went, playing with his belly button. Renji shut his eyes and arched towards her hoping for that sensation of his cock on her thighs again, his feet pushing against the bed. He pulled at the sash and it broke. He grabbed for her and she squealed.

"I can't take it anymore. You're torturing me," He kissed her longingly, he rolled her over and he was again on top. "Boy toy my ass." He said, biting her neck. "I'm the master now." His hair was everywhere and she ran her fingers through it. Tugging lightly.

She squeaked as he entered her. They were too excited for more foreplay; she wanted him to fuck her now. She gasped as he pushed harder into her; she arched her back and dug her nails into him. He was making those grunted noise he made when he was trying to hold back. He stopped a moment and rubbed her body roughly with his hands, all over her. She could feel his cock pulsing. She wiggled her hips a little and was rewarded with his grunt of pleasure. "Ahhhhh please stop moving." He begged.

"Who is the master now?" She asked, wiggling her hips some more. He couldn't take it anymore and he thrust harder into her, she felt like he was going to break her. Her breath got more ragged as he kept hitting that spot inside her; she clutched his arms as she came hard, gasping. She felt his hips buck as he came into her, his breath hot on her neck as he panted, trying to catch his breath.

He rolled off of her, still trying to slow down his breathing, his cock was still pulsing a little. "I'm sorry I couldn't hold back anymore, you make me crazy."

She reached for him and touched his chest softly, tracing his tattoos. "We have eternity," She said, cocking her head.

He nodded. "Best date ever." He said, as he drifted off to sleep.


End file.
